[ Grief is easy to smother. He's had practice enough at it these long years, and right now? It's no different.
He also can't retreat anywhere in the house where he won't feel Charles at the edge of his mind, an old comfort that has rapidly grown too stifling to bear.
Logan is brusque when Ororo tries to apologize; he can't take that right now, either: ]
You called at the right time.
[ He reaches for her, taking her by the hand, and pulls, impatient. ]
[ There it is again, that intimacy that she can't imagine him initiating between them back home. She never knew just how much it is a thing she's been wanting.
Maybe he knew.
She holds his hand and lets him lead the way. Clearly he has some sort of plan, and this is what she wanted. An escape. ]
[ It's a habit Laura has instilled in him, a rekindling of something old and buried. Kauto has given him back something he'd lost, all right, a relationship he's still not sure how to navigate just yet. Ororo might have come too early.
He's still so relieved she's here. She knows where he comes from; they share a history. He had known so quickly why her voice had been tight in her message, and why Charles' arrival would make her sound on the verge of tears.
Logan hurries her along, and doesn't say a word until they've made it on the train. ]
You remember when we agreed that it was a bad fucking idea to live in a house with Magneto?
[ When he doesn't answer her question, she doesn't try to coax conversation out of him. He'll talk when he's ready.
She sits opposite to him, though there was a temptation there to sit next to him and keep hold of his hand. Part of her wonders if he would have let her. He probably would have, and there is a "why" there that she doesn't dare touch. A hypothesis forming that runs through her blood like something warm and sweet, golden honey melting on a piece of toast.
If she stays at a distance from it, she can keep it that way. Promising, vaguely delightful. To have confirmation would be... complicated.
She sits with her legs crossed, arms folded across her chest, nodding in response to his question. The body language is closed, but she isn't really trying to shut him out. She's just... holding herself together. ]
[ When her hand slips from his, he feels a touch of... no, that can't be disappointment. He surreptitiously shakes his hand out as they sit, still feeling her fingers wrapped around his.
As if to contrast her closed-off appearance, he's leaning forward, elbows on his knees. ]
A week ago I put in a housing application, on a place in region two.
[ She isn't sure what reaction would really be appropriate, but she knows that the flash of anger that slices through her for a brief moment is definitely something she must keep to herself.
She's not angry with him, not really, but the thought of being in that house without him... it isn't a happy one.
She keeps her expression neutral, which is the best that she can do. He would see through any attempt at smiling in a heartbeat anyway. ]
[ It's just as well that he doesn't know, it's an unfair reaction that she isn't at all proud of.
She doesn't really say anything in response to his words, she simply nods, though she does manage a bit of a smile now.
The rest of the train ride passes in mostly comfortable silence, Ororo using the time to let her feelings work their way out of her system. Once they reach their stop, she's calm. Putting distance between Logan and Erik is going to be good for everyone, and eventually she'll be able to afford living space of her own as well. It's all going to work out. ]
[ This time, he doesn't grab nervously for her hand, but he does touch her arm, letting her go ahead of him once they've reached the station. It's a a shuttle trip to the farm itself, a property bordered in wheat stalks and the occasionaly copse of green trees; a big, white house and outbuildings, a paddock and a big pond, cattails waving in the breeze.
It's quiet out here. Surely they've spoken about something on the walk up the dirt drive, but it's unimportant, and he waits until they're inside, when the mansion is as far away as it's gonna get, to get around to what's really on his mind: ]
[ Ororo takes it all in, nodding her approval. This'll suit him and Laura well.
It's the sort of place she likes as well, nothing much between her and nature. She finds herself picking out a spot where there could be a greenhouse, and shakes her head, smiling at herself.
When Logan steers the conversation toward Charles, Ororo finds a window to stand by, focusing her gaze on the movement of wheat in the wind. It keeps her somewhat grounded. ]
[ He finds himself leaning up against the wall beside her, postures similar to those of their reunion in the Ingress Complex. It's a similarity that doesnt escape him, and he remembers so keenly how overjoyed she'd been to see him, how she had hugged him like an old habit, and held onto him when he couldn't let her go. ]
I'm sorry, 'Ro.
[ He knows how much she respected him, and how much his death had hurt her. She knew him much longer than Logan ever had, a father figure to so many. It must have been crushed her. ]
He's alive. Jean is alive. That's what's important.
[ To want more is childish when she has already been given so much.
She looks over at Logan, achingly aware of just how well he probably knows her. He might even know things about herself that she hasn't had the time to figure out yet.
She is a ghost, a living memory. An imprint of a time long gone. ]
And I have you.
[ Who does Logan have?
Laura, of course. But that's all new, uncertain if cherished territory. ]
I'm not... I can't do what Charles and Jean can. I can't...
[ She makes a vague hand gesture, as if that could somehow fill her sentence out for her. ]
Bridge the gap between us just by taking a look. Honestly I don't want to. But I do want to know you, Logan. You know me so well, I can tell... did you ever let me in too? Did you let me know you?
[ What she really wants to know is if he will let her again. ]
[ He wants to correct her- Charles and Jean are alive, but they aren't the same people. Kurt isn't the same. Rogue is a teenager again; all of them are so young, he feels he's grasping for some sort of common ground and always coming up short. There's an imbalance there he can't correct.
Logan listens, folding his arms across his chest, mildly uncomfortable. ]
Yeah.
[ One word, a one-shouldered shrug, an averting of his gaze. It's a brief moment where he withdraws, then remembers he can't. This is Storm, his friend, his partner, his center. He straightens. ]
We were together for years. Knew each other, I mean- [ A fumble, and he sighs, wry. Even she should know him enough, in her time, to know how shit he is talking about any kind of feelings-y crap.
He knows her well enough to understand she won't let something like this go and, even stubborn as he is...he's relieved for it. He needs it. ]
Look, I'm. [ Logan steps closer to her, like he's a little afraid someone might overhear his admission, a moment where he isn't stern and clipped, quiet as he tells her, ] I'm glad you're here, 'Ro. I don't know what I'm doing, but...I'm not drowning. And that's all you.
[ We were together... Coming from Logan, it's hard not to read things into that phrasing. But she does know how shit he is at talking about feelings-y crap, so honestly it also very much could just be clumsy phrasing.
Still, it doesn't feel entirely out of place to imagine it. Not with this Logan. With the man she left behind when she came here, it wouldn't fit. There is only one person she could imagine that man wanting to be together with, and it sure isn't her.
As for how she feels... some time will definitely be needed to figure that one out, but for the moment something warm is unfurling in the pit of her stomach, and she bridges the quite short distance between them to pry his arms away from him, to guide his hands around herself until she is holding them prisoner behind her back.
She smiles up at him a little, the connection they share immensely comforting in this place where there are so many bonds that will need to be almost completely reforged. ]
Careful, sounds like some touchy-feely stuff is trying to work its way out of you. You might sprain something.
[ What the hell is she- oh. He lets her manhandle him and wrap his arms around her, trading her cheek for a long-suffering sigh and a roll of his eyes. ]
We can't let that happen, [ he agrees gruffly. Logan turns his wrist in her grip, easing the side of his thumb down the small of her back, one small, gentle touch. Intimacy doesn't come easy for him, but it feels...somehow less difficult when it's Ororo, when she's not put off by his scowls, when she's in his arms and the sun is in her hair. It's an utterly arresting sight.
Somehow the space between them has diminished even further, closed in a whisper of breath. Drawn like a moth to the light of her bright smile, he's not sure of what he's doing, not until he tips his chin down and slowly - so slowly! - brushes his lips to hers. ]
[ She had only meant to initiate a hug, but this... yeah, this is good too. He moves slowly enough that she has plenty of time to make her mind up about it even before their lips meet, so by the time that feather-light touch happens she is fully on board with the idea.
She is very, very still at first, as if she is worried that movement might startle him or something so that he'll stop. That of course creates the possibility of him thinking that she doesn't like it, which she absolutely does. She is, in fact, liking it a lot , which feels both like a surprise and something not entirely unexpected at the same time.
Figuring that clarity would be a good idea here, she lets go of his hands so that she can put her own hands on his cheeks and press her lips more firmly against his. It's a very gentle sort of kiss, almost chaste. She's not pushing for anything, she is merely letting him know that this is alright.
Then she smiles at him, feeling almost a little giddy even though the specter of Charles is still hanging in the back of her mind. ]
[ Logan breathes a low sigh at the contact, when she blots out any of his reservations with her soft touch and warm mouth. Will he be okay? Surely, if she believes it. ]
Yeah.
[ He's not. quite. keen to step away from her and the safe haven just yet, though he does direct a glance up, brows lifting in suggestion. ]
[ His body may not be as indestructible as previously thought, but Storm is still of the firm belief that his spirit is. It might get banged up seemingly beyond repair, but nothing can ever quite kill the core of who he is, and Ororo believes that core to be good.
She isn't too eager to leave his embrace either, but she compromises by giving him another quick peck on the lips and taking hold of one of his hands as she steps away from him. ]
Sure. Hey, does this mean that next time we go out, it's a date?
[ She flashes him a teasing grin, to make it clear that it honestly doesn't matter. The thought just struck her because of a conversation she had with Kurt. ]
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no subject
He also can't retreat anywhere in the house where he won't feel Charles at the edge of his mind, an old comfort that has rapidly grown too stifling to bear.
Logan is brusque when Ororo tries to apologize; he can't take that right now, either: ]
You called at the right time.
[ He reaches for her, taking her by the hand, and pulls, impatient. ]
We have a train to catch.
no subject
Maybe he knew.
She holds his hand and lets him lead the way. Clearly he has some sort of plan, and this is what she wanted. An escape. ]
Where are we going?
no subject
He's still so relieved she's here. She knows where he comes from; they share a history. He had known so quickly why her voice had been tight in her message, and why Charles' arrival would make her sound on the verge of tears.
Logan hurries her along, and doesn't say a word until they've made it on the train. ]
You remember when we agreed that it was a bad fucking idea to live in a house with Magneto?
no subject
She sits opposite to him, though there was a temptation there to sit next to him and keep hold of his hand. Part of her wonders if he would have let her. He probably would have, and there is a "why" there that she doesn't dare touch. A hypothesis forming that runs through her blood like something warm and sweet, golden honey melting on a piece of toast.
If she stays at a distance from it, she can keep it that way. Promising, vaguely delightful. To have confirmation would be... complicated.
She sits with her legs crossed, arms folded across her chest, nodding in response to his question. The body language is closed, but she isn't really trying to shut him out. She's just... holding herself together. ]
Yes.
no subject
As if to contrast her closed-off appearance, he's leaning forward, elbows on his knees. ]
A week ago I put in a housing application, on a place in region two.
no subject
[ She isn't sure what reaction would really be appropriate, but she knows that the flash of anger that slices through her for a brief moment is definitely something she must keep to herself.
She's not angry with him, not really, but the thought of being in that house without him... it isn't a happy one.
She keeps her expression neutral, which is the best that she can do. He would see through any attempt at smiling in a heartbeat anyway. ]
Good thinking.
no subject
I wanted you to see it. Get a second opinion from someone I trust, that isn't ten years old.
[ His tone is wry.
The EL-Line takes no time at all to speed them through the regions; they're approaching Two before they know it. ]
no subject
She doesn't really say anything in response to his words, she simply nods, though she does manage a bit of a smile now.
The rest of the train ride passes in mostly comfortable silence, Ororo using the time to let her feelings work their way out of her system. Once they reach their stop, she's calm. Putting distance between Logan and Erik is going to be good for everyone, and eventually she'll be able to afford living space of her own as well. It's all going to work out. ]
no subject
It's quiet out here. Surely they've spoken about something on the walk up the dirt drive, but it's unimportant, and he waits until they're inside, when the mansion is as far away as it's gonna get, to get around to what's really on his mind: ]
You've seen him.
no subject
It's the sort of place she likes as well, nothing much between her and nature. She finds herself picking out a spot where there could be a greenhouse, and shakes her head, smiling at herself.
When Logan steers the conversation toward Charles, Ororo finds a window to stand by, focusing her gaze on the movement of wheat in the wind. It keeps her somewhat grounded. ]
Yeah. He didn't know me.
[ At least Jean had recognised her. ]
no subject
I'm sorry, 'Ro.
[ He knows how much she respected him, and how much his death had hurt her. She knew him much longer than Logan ever had, a father figure to so many. It must have been crushed her. ]
no subject
[ To want more is childish when she has already been given so much.
She looks over at Logan, achingly aware of just how well he probably knows her. He might even know things about herself that she hasn't had the time to figure out yet.
She is a ghost, a living memory. An imprint of a time long gone. ]
And I have you.
[ Who does Logan have?
Laura, of course. But that's all new, uncertain if cherished territory. ]
I'm not... I can't do what Charles and Jean can. I can't...
[ She makes a vague hand gesture, as if that could somehow fill her sentence out for her. ]
Bridge the gap between us just by taking a look. Honestly I don't want to. But I do want to know you, Logan. You know me so well, I can tell... did you ever let me in too? Did you let me know you?
[ What she really wants to know is if he will let her again. ]
no subject
Logan listens, folding his arms across his chest, mildly uncomfortable. ]
Yeah.
[ One word, a one-shouldered shrug, an averting of his gaze. It's a brief moment where he withdraws, then remembers he can't. This is Storm, his friend, his partner, his center. He straightens. ]
We were together for years. Knew each other, I mean- [ A fumble, and he sighs, wry. Even she should know him enough, in her time, to know how shit he is talking about any kind of feelings-y crap.
He knows her well enough to understand she won't let something like this go and, even stubborn as he is...he's relieved for it. He needs it. ]
Look, I'm. [ Logan steps closer to her, like he's a little afraid someone might overhear his admission, a moment where he isn't stern and clipped, quiet as he tells her, ] I'm glad you're here, 'Ro. I don't know what I'm doing, but...I'm not drowning. And that's all you.
no subject
Still, it doesn't feel entirely out of place to imagine it. Not with this Logan. With the man she left behind when she came here, it wouldn't fit. There is only one person she could imagine that man wanting to be together with, and it sure isn't her.
As for how she feels... some time will definitely be needed to figure that one out, but for the moment something warm is unfurling in the pit of her stomach, and she bridges the quite short distance between them to pry his arms away from him, to guide his hands around herself until she is holding them prisoner behind her back.
She smiles up at him a little, the connection they share immensely comforting in this place where there are so many bonds that will need to be almost completely reforged. ]
Careful, sounds like some touchy-feely stuff is trying to work its way out of you. You might sprain something.
no subject
We can't let that happen, [ he agrees gruffly. Logan turns his wrist in her grip, easing the side of his thumb down the small of her back, one small, gentle touch. Intimacy doesn't come easy for him, but it feels...somehow less difficult when it's Ororo, when she's not put off by his scowls, when she's in his arms and the sun is in her hair. It's an utterly arresting sight.
Somehow the space between them has diminished even further, closed in a whisper of breath. Drawn like a moth to the light of her bright smile, he's not sure of what he's doing, not until he tips his chin down and slowly - so slowly! - brushes his lips to hers. ]
no subject
She is very, very still at first, as if she is worried that movement might startle him or something so that he'll stop. That of course creates the possibility of him thinking that she doesn't like it, which she absolutely does. She is, in fact, liking it a lot , which feels both like a surprise and something not entirely unexpected at the same time.
Figuring that clarity would be a good idea here, she lets go of his hands so that she can put her own hands on his cheeks and press her lips more firmly against his. It's a very gentle sort of kiss, almost chaste. She's not pushing for anything, she is merely letting him know that this is alright.
Then she smiles at him, feeling almost a little giddy even though the specter of Charles is still hanging in the back of her mind. ]
We'll be okay.
no subject
Yeah.
[ He's not. quite. keen to step away from her and the safe haven just yet, though he does direct a glance up, brows lifting in suggestion. ]
You wanna see the rest of the place?
no subject
She isn't too eager to leave his embrace either, but she compromises by giving him another quick peck on the lips and taking hold of one of his hands as she steps away from him. ]
Sure. Hey, does this mean that next time we go out, it's a date?
[ She flashes him a teasing grin, to make it clear that it honestly doesn't matter. The thought just struck her because of a conversation she had with Kurt. ]